I attended a memorial service for a dear friend today. He passed away way too soon. I had spent many an afternoon chatting with him and talking about family, work and life. We worked in the same building. He at one radio station and I at another. His studio was across from mine with nothing but a small room between us.

There could have been a bigger gap between us. After all he was born in Mississippi in 1945. I was born in Michigan in 1960. He was black and I am white.

To me his name was Willie, to others he was Shurrod, King Juan, Don Perry, Cobra, Sensei, Smooth and Big Daddy. All those names meant something different to whomever you talked to. But the one name that best describes him is genuine.

Willie did a tour in Korea while in the Army from 1965-1968. But I never heard about that. After the Army he received a basketball scholarship from Lane College where he studied liberal arts and later communications. But I never heard about that. I learned today that he released a record many years ago that was big hit locally. I never heard about that either. So does this mean I didn’t know him after all?

No. What I did hear were the things that Willie found important in his life. I never knew a man more proud of his family. I heard about his son, Shurrod, and the dreams a father has for a son. I heard how this wonderful son was the best son ever. I heard how this boy was going to go to the Olympics and earn a gold medal. He had a poster of Shurrod in his studio with a hand written note. The poster was a picture of Shurrod running in a track meet, leaping in the air, sunglasses flying off. It was a picture of determination, grit and drive. Willie knew that his son would one day be an Olympian. If the dreams of fathers could make it so it would have come true. But Shurrod found other dreams in the arms of a woman named Joi. And those Olympic dreams became a wistful memory for Willie but his love for his son never wavered. Soon there was a wedding and a beautiful baby girl named Faith.

I saw lots of pictures of Faith and Big Daddy and then Faith, David and Big Daddy. I heard lots of Big Daddy stories and saw the love of a father passed down to his grandchildren. It was heartwarming to see a man so full of love.

This love wasn’t only reserved for his son and grandchildren. Willie had his Goddess. Alma, his wife. Alma came along late in Willies life. She was younger and Willie worshipped the ground she walked on. Willie and his Goddess would take cruises, they would head to the islands and take time to revel in one another. I would get the pictures and the details when he got back to work. Theirs was the kind of love that most people only dream of.

When Willie and Alma bought their new house he was so proud and promptly invited me over. I got the grand tour and dinner with he and his Goddess. We watched movies and hung out. Of course I had to have them to my house and the were kind enough to come. One of the nicest compliments I got was from Willie when he told me how comfortable he was in my home. He said it was just so “peaceful” and cozy.

Willie was one of the healthiest people I know. He ran marathons, worked out, was a black belt in Karate and taught many youngsters about honor and hard work. So it was a surprise when he found out he had to have heart surgery. He made it through but it changed him a bit. He was much more cautious and the marathons were put aside.

Time passes and the radio station was bought by a large company. Folks were let go when the new company took over and unfortunately Willie was one of them. We tried to keep in touch, phone calls, a few visits but it seemed that before I knew it a year had passed. I tried calling him several times but wasn’t able to reach him. I thought about stopping by but didn’t want to just drop in on him. Then I lost my job too. More cutbacks and I escaped into my own misery for a while. But Willie and The Goddess were always in my thoughts.

The past 6 months or so I had felt such a prodding to call him. Every few days I would get that gnawing feeling that I needed to pick up the phone. But it always seemed to happen when I was at work or in the car and by the time I got home my mind would be on other things. A few days later, again, that gnawing feeling. Then I got the news from another old coworker. Willie had passed. He had been sick for quite a while. I was heart sick. I had let my chance to tell him how much he meant to me slip by.

God gives us signs, he uses people, events and sometimes a 2×4 to get our attention. We often don’t pay attention. This isn’t the first or even the second time I have ignored the nudges. I have two other friends that time seemed to get between us. One was a person I hadn’t spoken to in years. I kept getting the feeling to find him but I had no idea where he was. The last I had heard he was in California trying to make in the movies. Then one day I did a Google search and found him. In the obituaries. He had died 2 days before. I couldn’t help but wonder if I had made that call earlier if something different would have changed for him. Maybe we would have gotten a chance to meet up again and start fresh and he wouldn’t died the way he did. All the what if’s start rolling through your head. The other was pretty much the same as Willie. He was also a good friend from the radio station and he had been ill and in the hospital. He had been in the hospital many times and I thought, like the other times, he would be home again. But it wasn’t to be.

I found out after Alma, the Goddess, called me that Willie had been ill for the past year. He had spent several weeks in the hospital, rallied and came home but this past week there would be no going back to his earthly home. His Goddess would have to wait. I understood that his body had been failing him and he wasn’t the robust Willie I had known. I am glad that the memory I have in my head is of Willie conquering the world, bragging about his son, grandchildren and wife. Gearing up for the Labor Day run. Telling me about the movies he loved and the few he actually had small roles in. Those are the memories I will carry with me and cherish.

My previous post was about listening to your Mother, your Father and those that are wiser than you. It also should include your Heavenly Father. He is not a silent God. He will try to guide you in the way you need to go. The Holy Spirit is not silent either. Those nudges, those urges I felt were the whispers of Heaven offering me a chance to let someone know that I care. That they were important to me. That I loved them. I hope I won’t ignore those whispers again.

Technorati Tags: death, friendship, God, heaven, Willie Dickey

Tags: death, friendship, God, heaven, Willie Dickey